It all began on Monday 6th July 2020 at around 7:30 am. I was woken up by my phone buzzing over and over, I looked at my phone with one eye open to see it
It all began on Monday 6th July 2020 at around 7:30 am. I was woken up by my phone buzzing over and over, I looked at my phone with one eye open to see it was my ex calling me.
When I answered she said “Mark, is everything ok? What the f**k have you done?” to which I replied what do you mean?”, she said the police have been knocking loud on my door looking for you with police around the back also.”
At this point I was not sure what was happening as I was totally unaware of anything illegal that I had done, as I am not the person to break any laws. I woke myself up got dressed and made a coffee and thought more about what I could have done, but could not think of anything that I could have done.
I called my ex partner up again just to make sure it was not a dream and to make sure i heard what I thought she said, to which she then confirmed.
Just incase the police was after me for something I decided to leave my current residency and then to go to a near layby as my niece was stopping the night and did not want to cause any concern to her or my brother I was currently stopping with.
I called 101 to ask them for more information although as I was on the phone they could not tell me anything as I could have been anyone, which I totally understood, and the advised it would be best for me to go to my local police station with public access with a form of ID and they would be able to give me more information on this. As Doncaster was my local then this is where I headed.
When I got to the local police station I headed to the reception and gave them my name and shown my ID. The officer/receptionist put a call out on the radio to see if anyone was looking for me. A few minutes later she then returned and said she does not have much information at the minute other than it was something to do with Manchester.
The only thing I could think about was that I was delivering for Amazon about 5 months before hand and though that it could not be about that and then the other thing was that I met someone online there who I had been talking to for a while the day before.
I was told to take a seat and then someone will be out shortly to explain more to me, and sure enough I was greeted by 2 female officers who took me behind their staff area doors.
It was at this point my heart stopped when they said “We are arresting you on suspicion of rape”. It was at this point everything they said after this for the next few minutes was just a blur as I could not believe what had been said and that I had been arrested for such a crime I would never do under any circumstances.
The next thing I know I was being asked the normal questions in the custody suite like confirming my name and if I’m on medication ect. As I was prescribed medication which I was due to collect that morning although did not physically have them i was not able to have them even though I was told if needed an officer would go and collect them for me which did not happen at all.
When I was taken to my cell I then had to strip off on the bottom half and pretty much go commando for the rest of the day in light grey baggy tracksuit bottoms to which I felt really uncomfortable as this is something I did not normally do.
After being in my cell which seemed to have been around 30 minutes to an hour I was then asked if I wanted to consent to a swab of my genitals, to which thought no straight away but knew if I didn’t then it would look like I was guilty of something I have not done. As reluctant as I was about having it done I agreed to do it as I just wanted to go home. After I digitally signed the consent form I was then escorted back to my cell.
It seemed like I was there for another few hours just sat there becoming gradually more emotional as I could not stop thinking about the previous day and why this person would accuse me of something so wrong and so out of character for me. I was asked to come to the nurses office, to which at that point I knew it was time for something I did not want to do.
As I entered the nurses office there was another police officer stood there and the nurse sat at her desk. She went through some paperwork and then asked me the general medical questions about if I smoke and drink, the usual questions. Even though I felt a little calm and comfortable with the nurse I still did not want to be in the room and to have done what she was about to do. As soon as she stood up I knew it was time I have been dreading which felt like a lifetime.
I got on the bed and the curtain was closed behind me then she told me to pull my trousers down a little between my waist and knees. At this point I felt like the lowest piece of scum you can imagine as it should be me choosing who sees my lower area and not being made to without looking like the guilty party. Even though I was only on the bed for around 5 minutes it felt like I was there for a good 20 minutes although the 5 minutes was much longer than I wanted anyway.
It was 4 swabs that I had to have done, 2 wet and 2 dry, the first 2 on the outside of my penis top to bottom and then the second 2 around my tip. None of this felt right at all from the beginning to the end and all I could do was look at the wall in shame.
Once done I was then escorted back to my cell for which felt a lot longer although maybe only about 2 hours. During this time I could not fight it no more and all of the emotions came out to the point to where I was shaking like a cold dog with my heart palpitations feeling like they are running the marathon. As I had not had my medication and was not able to get any as the police would not get it I just had to fight my way through it wrapped up in a thin quilt in the corner of my cell feeling like I was losing the plot and will to live.
Before I knew it a liaison officer from the NHS opened my cell and asked me if I was ok and to follow her. She was asking simple questions but I was unable to concentrate fully as all I could do was cry and the more I thought about it the more i got upset. When I managed to get out the information needed I was then escorted back to my cell.
It felt like another few hours passed just sat there alone like an emotional wreck and then I noticed the door was open with an officer looking at me gone out. How long he was stood there for I do not know. All I remember him saying is you’re going to be transferred to GMP as they want to do the interview over there. I asked what GMP was and he replied “Greater Manchester Police”.
I was escorted to a police van and placed in the back like a prisoner on hard plastic bench like seat in a small space which seemed like a 6ft by 3ft perspex cage. This was going to be the worst 2 hour drive as a passenger ever. Within minute my bottom was in pain due to the bumps and no padding in the “mobile cell” which was covered in some sort of dark red/brown smears which could have been anything but hygienic.
It was at this point to where the negative thoughts started to kick in and just wanted my life to end and even thought that my 2 boys are still young being aged 4 and 8 and that they would learn to live without me being in their life. I had it all planned that when I came out of custody then this is when it was going to happen. I thought about other alternatives and the only way to end everything which was currently happened was to end it all like this.
When I got to Boston police station I was then told the drivers are changing over and 2 more officers are going to take me on to Wigan. They asked if I was ok and I replied no to which then that ended the conversation. They then drove me over to Wigan to which then they had to wait as there was someone in front already being processed. The driver then came to the back of the van and then let me out so I could stretch my legs and get some air. It was at this point the office then started talking to me normally as if I was a normal human. I must admit from how this office was being with me he did calm me down and cheer me up a little.
Around 10 minutes later I was then escorted into the police station and then went through the same entry procedure as Doncaster with my details. For the first time all day I noticed the time was just after 5pm and realised I had not been asked about any food all day. Just before I was escorted to my cell they asked if I wanted anything to eat or drink but at this point as I was still feeling a little low I said no to the food and asked for a cup of water.
I was then escorted to my cell which was in much better condition to Doncaster and was given 2 thicker blankets and was asked if I was ok. Shortly after I was then called out of my cell to talk to my solicitor and then this is the first time I had to tell the story in full to anyone. Telling the truth is not an issue I normally have but in this situation it did feel very awkward telling the story especially in the most detail as possible. This took around 20 minutes to tell the whole story although felt much longer.
Once we had finished we then walked down to the interview room to where the interview would take place. I was asked if I wanted another drink and this time as I felt a little more comfortable I asked for a coffee, white, 2 sugars.
Shortly after, the interview started and I told the story again to the 2 officers without interruption, to which then after they asked questions about what I said to where I felt they was trying to trick me to see if I said anything different. As I was telling the truth though everything came out the same every time they asked me. After the interview was done I was then told I would be able to go although I would have to wait for the main office to do some paperwork to be able to release me.
I was returned to my cell for around 30 minutes and was feeling happier knowing that I was going to be able to be set free from being in a prisoner environment. This time I was trying to be positive and as my cell was larger than the ones at Doncaster I decided to walk laps around to keep me active. Shortly after some more inmates arrive and i could hear them through the walls. It sounded like one of them was kicking the door in and there was another singing very loudly “I’m here forever” over and over but I think he was singing to annoy the other guy which secretly amused me.
Around half an hour later I was then able to walk out of my cell and was gave some of my belonging back to me, and then was escorted back down to the carpark as I was needed to be brought back to Doncaster, luckily this time as I was released on bail I was in the back of a normal car being sent back to Bolton to which then I swapped cars and then came back to Doncaster.
The ride back from Bolton to Doncaster was ok as again the officers was talking to me like a normal human being and made me feel at ease. The conversation was normal talking about our favourite seasides to visit in the UK and how car numbers plates are chosen by the region they are registered. I even remember talking about the farm in the middle of the motorway as we passed this on the way back.
When I got back into Doncaster I felt safe and happy to be back in a territory that felt familiar to myself. As i got out the car and felt the cool air go into my lungs I felt at home even though I was still about half an hour from home. I checked my car for parking tickets to which I was shocked as I only paid for an hour and it was parked there for 17 hours. I jumped into my car and straight away noticed my seat was moved forwards and moved it backwards and just presumed it was because I have been in a different car for the last 2 hours. As I started the engine I noticed the passenger seat was also moved forwards and then realised someone had been in my car but everything valuable was still where it should be which made me think who could have been in my car and then remembered the police was the only other people who had my car keys.
I moved the chairs back to where they normally are and then drove home. When I got home I got undressed and put some underwear on and went straight to bed.
The following day I woke up crying but I knew my boys was waiting for me to pick them up for the day so I had to force myself together and pick them up knowing I was going to be a wreck for the whole day. So at 9 am I picked up my 2 boys and then went straight to the pharmacy to collect my medication that I was meant to have collected the previous day.
I continued the day as normal as I could and went continued to my grandmothers as originally planned as we do every week. At the beginning everything was fine and everything went as normal. Things started to change as things came on the tv mentioning Manchester and relationships. I just hated everything related to that and females and I just couldn’t help myself so I had to go into a different room to sort myself out so my grandma and 2 sons did not see anything.
I had friends calling and messaging but I could not answer as they did not know, all they knew is i was being quiet which they knew was not like me at all. I noticed that I was always cleaning my hands and making sure I was clean as I felt dirty all the time and crossing my arms constantly so I would not touch anything accidently.
I knew at some point someone had to know and I had to talk to someone about it. At this point I decided to let very close family members know about me as well as some very close friends who I trusted. When I told them they all pretty much said the same that its not possible for me to do something like that as its not in my character to perform such a thing. Even my ex partner (the mother to my boys) laughed and did not believe it at first as she also did not think this is something I would do. Although hearing these comments made me feel a little better it was still hurting inside with my emotions still turned to full.
Even though some people I trusted knew the evenings did not help me as all of the thoughts came back to me as they normally do on an evening as this is when I normally do my thinking. This just brought all of the emotions back which then I fell to sleep in tears with nothing else for me to do or even stop the emotions from happening.
Another day another dollar as the saying goes, but no not for me. I woke up and as usual went looking for my phone in my room to check my normal news feed although before I could find it the emotions and tears was back and in full flow already. I knew it was going to be a long day but all I could physically do was try and be strong and keep my mind busy.
To keep me busy I decided to complete this site as it has been in development for a while and thought it would be a good idea to get it live and then to get it running. Luckily this took me most of the day and kept my mind occupied throughout.
Once I made the site live I then decided to write about what I had gone through as I thought this would help and I could not believe it but I did feel better as I wrote it down.